Life Pillars

I was squatting yesterday during my gym session at home, while listening to a podcast by one of my newest and favourite personal trainers: James Smith.

Sleep

Sleep is EXTREMELY IMPORTANT and is underrated. Sleep is NOT for the weak, infact, it's for the efficient and effective. There are multiple studies showing that getting enough sleep helps:

Your brain develop the synapses that are associated with learning and memory
Your muscles to rest and recover
Your organs to ‘cleanse’ and reset
You to regulate your mood and hunger

I’ve personally experienced days with extremely bad sleep, or just having insufficient sleep. As most of you know, I have been trying to wake up at 5.30am to get more stuff done. The problem is, I haven’t had the discipline to get myself to bed earlier at 10.30pm. I end up sleeping only at around 12.30am, which leaves me around 5 hours of sleep. I don’t even get sufficient quality sleep, and I was a wreck for those few weeks. I thought I was being efficient and productive, little did did I know that my productivity and mood levels were severely hampered. I was getting hungry ALL the time for no reason. Now, I prioritize my sleep and get at least 7 hours of sleep no matter what. Things have definitely taken a turn for the better and my hunger has been kept in check.

I’m currently reading ‘Why We Sleep’ by Matthew Walker to get an even better understanding of sleep and it’s benefits. Check if out if this is something that interests you!

Stress

What do you do when you’re stressed (whether it’s from work related or personal)? Most people tend to turn to food. That’s where emotional eating comes in, and it can become uncontrollable. People end up suppressing their feelings and burying them by stuffing their face.

If you’re stressed, talk to someone about things. Write out how you feel about it. There’s something super therapeutic about putting your thoughts to paper (Check out the bullet journal for this). Alternatively, you could start have a ‘soup-port’ group (mentioned here in my weekly email newsletter, and here, in the original article by raptitude)

Gather 3-4 trusted friends, make soup, pour your struggles out to each other. People need to talk and have support, and this will provide the perfect platform to do so. The goal is to listen and support, provide a different perspective for your friends, not necessarily to help them 'solve’ their problems.

Don’t use food as temporary fix to the pain. Accept the problem and find a way to fix it. As I mentioned in my previous blog post on Stoicism: focus on what you can control, accept what you can’t

The only things that are within our control are our thoughts, judgements and actions. Everything else is not within our control. Knowing that you are in control of your own actions and have done whatever you have done to the best of your abilities is sufficient.

Using food as a fix will inevitably lead to fat gain, and eventually to all sorts of health and mental problems.

Relationships

Are you happy in your current relationship? Are you and your partner growing together in this relationship? Are they supportive of you and your endeavours and health commitments? Is it still fulfilling for you, and are you two still getting it on?

If you answer to these questions are a resounding NO, it may actually be time to cut your losses and get out of of your relationship. There isn’t a point prolonging a relationship that doesn’t add value to your life! I know this is easier said than done, but trust me, both you and your partner are better off with someone else who can bring them the happiness you both seek and deserve.

I know folks who are reluctant to get out of a relationship that they have been in for the longest time, even if they were SUPER unhappy in the relationship. I’m guilty of doing this myself. I didn’t dare to break up with my ex-girlfriend of 8 years because 1) I was scared shit that no one else would love me, 2) It was already 8 years! It’s so wasted to just break up now… right?

Nope - that’s the theory of sunk cost fallacy right there.

“The sunk cost effect is the general tendency for people to continue an endeavor, or continue consuming or pursuing an option, if they’ve invested time or money or some resource in it. That effect becomes a fallacy if it’s pushing you to do things that are making you unhappy or worse off.” - Christopher Olivola

if you’re still unsure, weigh the pros & cons with a good friend who is able to help you see things objectively, after all, they are on #teamyou, and will only want the best for you. Good friends have told me for YEARS to break up, but I just didn’t do it.

Once you leave a relationship that is holding you back, you’ll get a feeling of liberation. Sure you’ll feel sad and need to mourn over the loss of the relationship, but overall - it’s important to be selfish for yourself and take care of your needs and wants first. Know that your partner is NOT the one who is responsible for your happiness! Keeping yourself happy and fulfilled your job, and your job alone. Your partner doesn’t complete you, they compliment you, the whole you.

You’ll know once you are in the right relationship for you.

It's not always rainbows and butterflies
It's compromise that moves us along yeah

*‘She Will Be Loved’ - Maroon 5*

There will be good and bad times, and there will undoubtedly be extremely hard conversations - but you should be honest and comfortable enough with your partner to tell them what you want, and they should want to help, support and see you grow.

Once you’re in a solid relationship, your partner will be more than happy to support your health and fitness goals, and they may even join you on your journey to a healthier lifestyle!

Conclusion

If any of your pillars are lacking a strong foundation, there is a high chance it will break and crumble. So start by cementing those pillars, and sealing up those cracks.

Don’t have enough sleep? Abnormal hunger pangs will kick in making it harder to be on a caloric deficit, making it harder to train, and it will most certainly have an impact on your motivation levels. Make sure that we are able to get sufficient sleep, at least 7-9 hours a day. This should be one of your main priorities if you want to lose body fat. Make sleep a priority!
Deal with your stressors the right way, not by using food as a bandaid to escape facing them. Get to the root cause of your problems and nip them in the bud. Chances are, if you don't have a fulfilling job or stable relationship - you'll most probably be turning to food and TV for your only source of comfort, and that could turn into uncontrollable fat gain.

Friends, we only have one life. It’s important to be happy (as much as possible) and to be healthy! Don’t use food as a fix or an escape - food should be enjoyed for the right reasons! As much as possible, try to build strong life pillars and keep yourself grounded. The odds should be in your favor in this game of life :)

Resources

James Smith PT Podcast #10 : Sleep, Stress, Sex, Relationships & Motivation by James Smith (Podcast |42M)

‘The Bullet Journal’ by Ryder Carroll (Book | Depends on your reading speed)

‘Why We Sleep’ by Matthew Walker (Book | Depends on your reading speed)

‘The Sunk Cost Fallacy Is Ruining Your Decisions. Here's How’ by Jamie Ducharme (Article| 2 mins)